Failed yet again to make a mark on the world

Rotten Neighbor is a site that lets you complain about your neighbors through the anonymous power of the Interwebs. The bad neighbors then get compiled on a Google map with all the purile comments included. Of course, I put in my address to see if anyone had complained about me. I don’t know how to feel about the fact that no one had. On the one hand, yay, because if I’m escaping notice, I’m less likely to get stabbed coming back from the bodega. On the other hand, if none of my neighbors are complaining about me, I’m not having nearly enough parties, screaming sex, or screaming-sex parties.

Here’s a sample review from the nearest marked property to my building, about 6 blocks away: “drunk men passed out on the stair case, homeless men outside begging for change, rats everywhere, no one locks the door, super doesn’t care at all, muggings on the street all the time, NO HEAT, sometimes no hot water and the building is falling apart!”

Define “all the time.”